Cider Cyclist 'CoCo' Causes Con'FUSION'..... - Season 2008-2009 - 07/11/08

Friday nights in a favourite nightclub have slowed down forcing the closure of the main area, with any thriving 'Travoltas' resigned to the smaller, upstairs option.  But recently, management have been forced into taking rather drastic measures by placing 'NO CYCLING' signs on their dance floor, to the bewilderment of Saturday night jivers...!!!

As strange as this seems, the caution arose when CCTV footage pinpointed a couple of unnoticed and rather unorthodox incidents, which managed to slip through the net and past security.

Sharp eyed personnel began their regular checks of CCTV footage from Friday night and stumbled upon, what can only be explained as a 'Circus and Rodeo act' taking place before their very eyes.

To cut a long story short, footage stretched for approximately 30 minutes with various degrees of hilarity and confusion. The below describes the unbelievable, BUT TRUE, highlights...!!!

Also, the offenders would not of known but since installing the latest state-of-the-art CCTV equipment, staff are now able to 'hear' as well as 'see' any incriminating acts.

To START - Picture the following scene in your mind.  Large empty dancefloor - Flashing lights - Two men in the area - One bicycle...!!!  Now BEGIN........

After evading security and noticing a small white bicycle had been left lying willingly around from a previous event, the two, who will be called Clown 'CoCo' and Cowboy 'Lloyd', spied the empty dancefloor and free pass to enjoy the delights of a lit up arena, all to themselves.

No need to guess what happened next...!!!

CoCo took the lead and shouted to Lloyd, 'hop on for a spinneee, wwwhhhhheeeeee....' - followed by 'honk-honk, honk-honk' noises from his imaginary circus bicycle horn...

Lloyd was wary at first, stayed perched by the bar and continued to sip away at his Cider but after shouts from CoCo of 'look no hands...', 'here's another wheeeelieeeee...' and imitating the common circus anthem 'doot-doot-diddeeellll-diddeeelll-doot-doot-doo-doo...(you get the jist)' - it was time for Lloyd to take the plunge...

Although asking Lloyd to mount the bike, CoCo decided he was having too much fun and taunted Lloyd by speeding away on a few laps of the dance floor with Lloyd chasing, trying to catch his tail, in a true 'Benny Hill...' scenario (if you can remember him???).

You can imagine CCTV operators would've been obviously irate at the happenings which had slipped through the net but, at the same time, in hysterics of what they were viewing.....!!!!!

CoCo eventually allowed Lloyd to ride on the back, much to his delight but Lloyd wanted to change from Clowns to Cowboys.  CoCo fancied a change and the two re-enacted scenes from their favourite film, 'BrokeBack Mountain'.

As CoCo pedalled and steered the two into their imaginary sunset, Lloyd rose out of his seat on their final lap, to produce some whipping actions and noises 'whiiiiiipppppeeeeesssssshhhhhhh, whiiiiiipppppeeeeesssssshhhhhhh...', shouted in true cowboy fashion - 'ride em cowboy, ride em...!!!' and finished with - 'isn't this the greatest bike ride ever...???'

After ample excitement, dodging security, having a massive dance floor to themselves and being in their imaginary world - the two decided they had 'ridden' their luck for long enough and gleefully returned upstairs to bring themselves back to reality and knock some Techno jives out on the dancefloor.

...END OF ACT...

Certainly a night to remember for the men but will it happen again...???  Are they allowed back in the nightclub...???  Has security been updated  since this event...???

Watch this space...!!!

End-of-Document